Life is Better Than You Think It Is, And You'll Notice When You "Stop Complaining"

You’re tired; you’ve been walking for nearly three hours uphill through the rainforest. It’s muggy and incredibly humid; the air is so thick you swear you could cut it with a knife. You’re sweating profusely as mosquitos buzz obnoxiously close to your face.

“Can we go home? Do we have to keep going?” you call out to your friends, both of whom are already fifteen feet ahead of you.

“We’re almost at the top!” one of them calls back to you. “Think of how great the view is going to be!”

But instead of thinking about the breathtaking views, you think about how you’ll have to walk an additional three hours back down the mountain you’ve just taken all morning to climb. And so you continue to complain for the rest of the hike—you complain about the weather and your feet; you let everyone know how tired you are, how hungry you are, how you wish you were anywhere else.

What has complaining ever gotten you? Some would argue that complaining is cathartic, a good way to release frustration about a particular situation that you find irritating. Others would say it’s a way to validate your opinions, to find some common ground with another person to assure yourself that you are not alone in your thoughts.

However, no matter how you look at it, people who complain—and complain too often—are hard to be around. A person who complains too much is a black cloud, someone who dampens the mood and extinguishes the fun in any given situation. Complainers are hard to be around because, oftentimes, they are miserable people who are unable to see the good in any situation. Rather than remaining optimistic, they look at life through a negative lens.

Over time, this could become a problem. Many aspects of your life could suffer if you remain a chronic complainer, including the quality of your career, relationships and friendships.

The people around you will notice how much you complain, and over time, they may decide that they no longer want to spend time with someone who is constantly miserable; they may decide that they’d rather spend time with people who are positive, who look on the bright side, and who have learned to let the things that bother them roll off their shoulders rather than letting it affect them so negatively.

Don’t worry—once a chronic complainer, not always a chronic complainer. You can still change the path you are on, no matter how far along it you may be. It’s going to be hard; in fact, most people don’t even realize how much they complain because it’s become a habit. The first step is to be aware of how much you actually complain: be aware of the time and energy you spend complaining, and you’ll notice that most times, the second the words leave your lips, you’ll instantly wish you could pull them back and stop yourself from pointing out each and every thing that is bothering you. However, as long as you actively try to keep yourself from complaining, you’ll be able to cut back, especially if you keep in mind all the benefits you’ll be gaining.

Think before you speak. Before you tell your friends for the sixth time that you’re tired and you wish you weren’t in the middle of a hike to the top of a mountain, first think about what you wish to accomplish by saying so. Do you want to stop your hike? Then say so. Ask your friends if it’s okay to turn around; by taking action to fix the problem you’re facing, you’ve become accountable for your feelings and you’ve shown that you’re willing to do something to remedy what is bothering you. One of the worst things about complainers is that they complain because they’re too lazy to take any action to change their situations, thus keeping them in the negative environment that they are complaining about in the first place.

However, chances are, you can’t change whatever it is you’re complaining about, and if that’s the case—then don’t say anything. Hold your tongue. Think about your complaint instead, and to counter it, find something you like about what you’re doing instead. Focus on the positive; even the most terrible situations have their perks, and each complaint reinforces your negative thoughts, which can take a toll on your mental health and your relationships with other people in the long run.

Cutting back on complaining will make you a happier person—and isn’t it everyone’s goal in life to be happy? Instead of wasting energy complaining about what’s bothering you, focus on the good. Instead of complaining that you’ve already walked ten miles, be happy about all the calories you’ve burned, and focus on the dessert you’ll order to congratulate yourself. Instead of complaining about the weather, enjoy the time you’re spending with your friends. Instead of complaining about how tired you are, enjoy the beautiful view at the top of the mountain and be thankful that you are healthy enough to be able to do such incredible things. Life is much better than you think it is, and you’ll notice once you’ve stopped obsessing on the little things that annoy you.

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